Control: how far down the pit?

For the Discussion of the Gorean Lifestyle.

How far down would you be willing to go into the power exchange / control dynamic?

Level 1: Sheer RP
Level 1: Sheer RP
Level 2: OOC control
Level 2: OOC control
Level 3: "Virtual" RL
Level 3: "Virtual" RL
Level 4: Physical RL
Level 4: Physical RL
Total votes: 54
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Tamar Luminos
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Tamar Luminos » Thu May 12, 2011 3:34 pm

Had a pretty strict limit of level 1, with some occasional edging into level 2. Then met one guy who over the course of 2 years got me to level 4. But I'd say level 1 with anyone else, he's the only exception.
" take truth for granted is not to know it. Truth not won is not possessed. We are not entitled to truths for which we have not fought." --- (Marauders of Gor, p.7)
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Jani » Thu May 12, 2011 4:07 pm

I've been to level four and it didn't end as I would have liked. A real slave/Dominant relationship is just too hard to keep going for a long period of time. Sooner or later it just turns into kinky sex and parties with others like minded.
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby oenanthe » Thu May 12, 2011 6:38 pm

I suspect that almost everyone in SL Gor gets some actual enjoyment out of the Master/Slave dynamic, and by extension, power exchange, or they would be choose to RP elsewhere in SL. So, especially for the SL neophyte, I think it’s very easy to find oneself sliding down the slippery slope from Level 1 to Level 2, then careening headfirst into Level 3, stopping short of Level 4 only for reasons of RL commitments, distance, or other practicalities. The problem with a RL relationship that begins as a fantasy is that it can easily start with a very shaky, or even non-existent, foundation and, as the OP describes it, result in serious bruises, or even the occasional sucking chest wound as the case may be :o

It is interesting that many of those who have posted here report ending up at Level 4 only once--I imagine some because they got to Level 4 with someone and stayed there. But I am wondering if others went there and decided never to go back. I think for some of us, even a little ooc power exchange can be too seductive and need to keep it in RP to avoid finding oneself again with toes hanging over the slippery slope!
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Legion » Thu May 12, 2011 7:55 pm

I prefer 4 and lately have been experiencing something of a combination between 2 and 3. But, even those will never satisfy your needs for 4 in the long run unless the other party is willing to do it. It's hard because of RL obligations, someone is already in a relationship, someone is scared. I say, 4 is worth it if the other person is willing make effort to make it that far.
"Man needs as much liberation as woman." - Osho
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Adam Zadeh
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Adam Zadeh » Fri May 13, 2011 1:49 am

I have been at level 1 - 3 and have considered 4. I got very close to 4 with her. I wanted option 4 with her...

I think that the levels do blend after a while, it's not a bad thing...but we spend so much time and energy on here that blending is only natural. However you have to be sure to communicate with your partner what your feeling and why your feeling it.

We always need to remember that their is someone real behind the avi with their own issues, problems, fears and loves. - A blog about more than Gorean wine. - My scooter blog!

Vita sine litteris mors ('Life without learning [is] death')
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Shikhandi Panthar
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Shikhandi Panthar » Fri May 13, 2011 3:47 am

Thank you all.

Since most of the comments to this thread are personal stories, I guess it is only fair that I give you a bit of mine. With the few slaves I have had, things mostly stayed at level one but, in one case, got deeper as time went by, down to level 3 and with a tendency to leap to 4. This only happened once though, and didn't end up so well (see this other topic for a hint on why:

I must admit that this "sliding down the pit" is very rewarding, when with the right person, with the sub who really wants it too (most, and quite rightly so, show resistance and shy away from going there), and with a sufficient amount of trust. But it's also a lot of energy and dedication on both sides, and it can be very frustrating when it ends up being just "one of those things" (but maybe I should stop deluding myself and accept, from the start, that, indeed, it is very unlikely it could be otherwise).

Level one is, after all, the most comfortable stage and I do understand that most people stay there: very little is at stake at this level. In fact, from your votes and what you all said, it seems that level one is the preferred option, unless the right person comes along... and in this case it starts to go right down to 3 or 4. Level 2 is only a threshold in our way deeper down.
Ice Bradley
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Ice Bradley » Fri May 13, 2011 4:28 am

Most of my relationships in sl have been lvl 3.

Lvl 4 wont ever happen.
there's those thinking more or less less is more
but if less is more how you're keeping score?
Means for every point you make
your level drops
kinda like its starting from the top
you can't do that...
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Mani » Fri May 13, 2011 1:01 pm

I was for a very very long time just a level 1, I didn't want anything intruding on My RL, I'm quite independent and I tend too like my own company at times a lot aswell, so the thought of something dictating what I could do in SL was something I'd never ever consider.

Now I'm in a level 2 leaning too level 3 relationship with my SL owner, I've never done anything like this before so it's all very very new too me. I don't think I'd ever go as far as a level 4 as it scares the heck out of me, I'm one of these people that watches shows like Criminal Minds, Law & Order SVU and CSI, they tend too instil the fear of god into you about meeting people in RL, so I'm very very careful on the internet too not let too much about the real me be known.
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Re: Control: how far down the pit?

Postby Pelopidas » Fri May 13, 2011 2:08 pm

Well, i live in Greece and everybody was too far away from me so 4 was out of the question, guess if i lived in the USA or something i wouldnt be negative to meet someone from SL.

As for 3, well, i like to skype, but not to control people, just talk, or sing, or snore, or troll them, whatever. Voice sex is out of the question too, when i hear my self trying to talk dirty in English i laugh, cant help it, sorry. if you really wanna get Pelo on voice, well, you have to be Greek. Do you know how funny you sound if you try to speak Greek? Even funnier than me trying to speak dirty in English!

So i guess iv done 1, when i was in SL Gor, and 2 when i was out of SL Gor and had stopped roleplaying.

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