SL Relationships real? fake?

For the Discussion of the Gorean Lifestyle.

What sort of SL relationship do you have (main relationship)

How I feel in SL is how in RL - please explain
18
21%
How I feel in SL is how in RL - please explain
18
21%
IC only - I keep RL and SL seperate - please explain
10
12%
IC only - I keep RL and SL seperate - please explain
10
12%
Other - please explain
15
17%
Other - please explain
15
17%
 
Total votes: 86
User avatar
Anarch Allegiere
Posts: 1000
Joined: Thu Aug 26, 2010 8:01 am
SL Name: Anarch Allegiere

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Anarch Allegiere » Wed Mar 09, 2011 4:05 pm

Roleplay has a way of making people become immersed in their characters, especially when it's roleplay as extreme as gor. It invokes things we have not learned to deal with in daily life, while we keep having the emotions we grew up with to have. I'll be the first to admit that roleplay sometimes has been so intense and dramatic that it made me cry, I'll admit that my SL relationship with Isabella has caused me to be in tears sometimes... even if I realize it is just an online thing. Roleplay has it's way of seeping into OOC emotions...
User avatar
Thyri
Posts: 948
Joined: Mon Dec 07, 2009 3:02 am
SL Name: Thyri Carver
Caste: Scribe
Role: Free Woman

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Thyri » Wed Mar 09, 2011 4:28 pm

I think that SL relationships are as real as you make them out to be. Some relationships can be as close as BFF's or lovers or even farther. For some the relationship only goes as far as an aquaintance. Its all what you make of it.

Sure it has its false and fantasy aspects, but I think thats why many of us choose to RP. Its an escape, a creative outlet. You can choose to be whatever you want to portray yourself. You want to be a badass, well you can be a badass in SL. You want to be a simpering submissive under the foot of ever man? You can do that too. You want to be svelte, attractive with well coiffed hair and a dream home (complete with giant kitchen and mancave)? You have it in SL. It fosters the fantasy.

But it is important to realize that in all of your RP badassery, there are real people behind those avatars. And perhaps it may not mean your character holds back some things, but I think many of us in our quest to be badass and more gorean than thou, we forget a little piece of that humanity by trying too hard.

So I just relax and let things come as they may. If a SL relationship turns into more than friends, so be it. But I'm not going after it like Eharmony.
Be very polite. -Flagg RIP 2009
User avatar
Elle Couerblanc
Posts: 619
Joined: Thu Oct 07, 2010 10:55 am
SL Name: Elle

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Elle Couerblanc » Wed Mar 09, 2011 8:06 pm

Thyri wrote:
So I just relax and let things come as they may. If a SL relationship turns into more than friends, so be it. But I'm not going after it like Eharmony.


What no gormatch.com for you? :D
"Old stories are like old friends. You have to visit them from time to time." Bran - A Storm of Swords, pg 315

Visit me at Elle's World http://ellecouerblanc.com/
User avatar
alana
Posts: 286
Joined: Mon Nov 02, 2009 10:31 pm
SL Name: alana quicksand
Location: Retreat from Reality

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby alana » Thu Mar 10, 2011 8:53 pm

I agree that they are as real as you want them to be. Once people go OOC, one thing tends to lead to the next, till someone puts on the brakes...or not, as the case may be. The brakes can happen even after meeting in rl...or not.
It is up to the individuals involved what they consider it to be... real... or not.

I separate things into IC/OOC/RL myself. RL trumps everything else...as it should. IC many times, goes into OOC if it lasts for any extended length of time. Those emotions involved should not be underestimated. Does an emotional commitment make it real? That is up to you. RL takes it to a whole new level. Yes I understand that OOC can lead to RL. :shifty: I have lived with someone I met on line for 10 years in RL.

In Sl and in RP I have held a very deep line of demarcation between OOC and rl. Mostly because many people are married or in a serious relationship and I would not wish to be involved rl with someone that is married. I would feel...sleazy if I did that, and frankly I would have trouble having a relationship with someone that was little more than a one night stand. Oddly, I do not think less of people that do such I thing, I do not want to judge anyone, I can only hold myself accountable for my own actions. That does not mean that I cared less for the people that I have been involved in OOC relationships with, I just understood that I had lines I would never cross.

So I am a bit confused, I am not sure what the OP really means by real...are the emotions real?
Well if you look at the memorial for some that knew and RP'd here in SL I would have to say, "yes"
Retreat from reality ~ The substitution of the imaginary for the real.
~I know a lot more than you think, but I keep it to myself to save arguments~
Part of the 1%, lucky me! Must suck to be you. :poke:
User avatar
Harley
Posts: 98
Joined: Wed Nov 11, 2009 11:56 pm
SL Name: Harlequin Fhang
Role: something happy

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Harley » Sat Mar 12, 2011 1:17 pm

Suyuan wrote: I am not saying I am not the exception, but I make the conscious effort to remember that the people I interact with on SL are people and the relationships I am in, I care for them. I would say that what Eve and I have is very, very real.


Hey, bitch. Cough cough. Forget your wifeymoo?
You love me right? We're in LOVE

I love the games and all the things you do. I love the games and all the crying too.
Legion
Posts: 69
Joined: Mon Nov 09, 2009 5:23 pm
SL Name: Magadhi bint Alim al-Salah
AkA: Mags

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Legion » Sat Mar 12, 2011 7:07 pm

Harley wrote:
Suyuan wrote: I am not saying I am not the exception, but I make the conscious effort to remember that the people I interact with on SL are people and the relationships I am in, I care for them. I would say that what Eve and I have is very, very real.


Hey, bitch. Cough cough. Forget your wifeymoo?
You love me right? We're in LOVE


Oh yeah, and my marriage to Harley is like for real too... we've been married for 55 hours now! You know I love you Harley! :lips: :lips: :lips: :lips: :lips: :lips:
"Man needs as much liberation as woman." - Osho
Isabella
Posts: 42
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 7:05 am
SL Name: Isabella

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Isabella » Sun Mar 13, 2011 1:16 pm

I think relationships on SL can be as real or as fake as we choose them to be.

When I started on SL I was adamant that it was 'just RP' and I lasted that way for about half a year. I am seeing someone in RL so I am definitely not looking for a RL husband or partner or whatever.

I think the important thing is to be very honest about what you are looking for. The main times I have been annoyed in my SL relationships are when things are agreed upfront and then changed part way through.

When I got FC'd in RP I was shocked by how much I found myself enjoying both the IC RP and the OOC affection - it came hand in hand - but it still was and always would be an online thing. Sure there are ups and downs and times spent upset or wondering why we bothered but it was still worth it overall.
The IC side is over for now but the ooc caring remains which is lovely.

I have met people in RL from other forums - horse ones - but SL is different, I am lot more wary. It would need to be someone extremely special for me to open that door....
Cup of asshole tea

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Cup of asshole tea » Wed Mar 23, 2011 10:02 am

What two people do with themselves is between them & is frankly none of anyone's business.

BUT...

When it effects more than the two, perhaps it's better if they find their own openspace to hang out on.
Erik
Posts: 139
Joined: Wed Nov 04, 2009 5:00 pm
SL Name: Erik Fyanucci
Caste: It's complicated
Role: Laugh-master
Home Stone: Reality
AkA: Ari Blackthorne
Location: "Urth"
Contact:

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Erik » Wed Mar 23, 2011 12:17 pm

Meh wrote:What two people do with themselves is between them & is frankly none of anyone's business.

BUT...

When it effects more than the two, perhaps it's better if they find their own openspace to hang out on.


Screw the topic.

I am only posting to express that Meh has the most kick-ass bestest Gorums avatar in the whole wide world as of this date and time of this post right this second for ever and ever! Nothing says it better than "Feel your boobies".

Image
User avatar
oenanthe
Posts: 2
Joined: Thu May 12, 2011 6:47 am
SL Name: oenanthe
Role: Slave

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby oenanthe » Fri May 13, 2011 11:02 am

Having been an “SL faker” myself, in a relationship that ended badly for all concerned, I am still astounded how easily things can blossom into disaster. Starting SL Gor is a big lark— while your RL personal life is collapsing, you can occupy the body of a hot, young, perfect avatar, and give yourself over in RP to muscled manly men, who bend you over a table, fur you mercilessly and toss you out the longhall door. And why not create a RL “avatar” to go along with it, to spice up your ooc interactions? After all, wouldn’t it be nice to give your RP partner a sexy young nymphette to fantasize about when they’re offline?

When I was in my first few months on SL, I had no idea at all how personal and real interactions on here can get and how slowly and insidiously RP feelings can seep into RL. So when I literally woke up one morning and realized that I had real, very strong feelings for my RP partner it was a genuine shock. And then I was stuck: the object of my affection was in love with a fabrication that I created for his amusement, and I was in love with a real person. I could confess and lose that person, or I could perpetuate the lie, making it grow bigger with each passing day. It was so easy to just stay and bask in the glow of a bizarre conflation of truth and fantasy, thinking to myself, as long as the other person never found out, what was the harm? There was no possibility of any in-person interaction, so why couldn’t this continue until it reached it’s natural conclusion? Eventually, we would grow bored with each other or one of us would get pried out of Gor by RL.

Inevitably, something had to go wrong and when it did, the outfall was surprisingly devastating. I have always considered myself a kind, caring person--someone who goes out of her way not to hurt people in relationships--and to find myself the perpetrator of what was, in effect, a form of emotional abuse required a lot of soul searching and reassessment of who I was.

So I guess I agree with what seems to be the consensus here: lying on SL is still lying with all the attending consequences. It is easier in SL, so there is probably more lying, but the results are exactly the same in SL and RL. I think even at the RP level, deception on SL has the potential to be emotionally lethal and once it goes OOC someone is inevitably going to get hurt.

Return to “General”

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 1 guest

cron