SL Relationships real? fake?

For the Discussion of the Gorean Lifestyle.

What sort of SL relationship do you have (main relationship)

How I feel in SL is how in RL - please explain
18
21%
How I feel in SL is how in RL - please explain
18
21%
IC only - I keep RL and SL seperate - please explain
10
12%
IC only - I keep RL and SL seperate - please explain
10
12%
Other - please explain
15
17%
Other - please explain
15
17%
 
Total votes: 86
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Kaitlin
Posts: 3057
Joined: Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:16 pm
SL Name: Kaitlin Eiren
Caste: RL ATM
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Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Kaitlin » Fri May 13, 2011 11:16 am

oenanthe wrote:Having been an “SL faker” myself, in a relationship that ended badly for all concerned, I am still astounded how easily things can blossom into disaster. Starting SL Gor is a big lark— while your RL personal life is collapsing, you can occupy the body of a hot, young, perfect avatar, and give yourself over in RP to muscled manly men, who bend you over a table, fur you mercilessly and toss you out the longhall door. And why not create a RL “avatar” to go along with it, to spice up your ooc interactions? After all, wouldn’t it be nice to give your RP partner a sexy young nymphette to fantasize about when they’re offline?

When I was in my first few months on SL, I had no idea at all how personal and real interactions on here can get and how slowly and insidiously RP feelings can seep into RL. So when I literally woke up one morning and realized that I had real, very strong feelings for my RP partner it was a genuine shock. And then I was stuck: the object of my affection was in love with a fabrication that I created for his amusement, and I was in love with a real person. I could confess and lose that person, or I could perpetuate the lie, making it grow bigger with each passing day. It was so easy to just stay and bask in the glow of a bizarre conflation of truth and fantasy, thinking to myself, as long as the other person never found out, what was the harm? There was no possibility of any in-person interaction, so why couldn’t this continue until it reached it’s natural conclusion? Eventually, we would grow bored with each other or one of us would get pried out of Gor by RL.

Inevitably, something had to go wrong and when it did, the outfall was surprisingly devastating. I have always considered myself a kind, caring person--someone who goes out of her way not to hurt people in relationships--and to find myself the perpetrator of what was, in effect, a form of emotional abuse required a lot of soul searching and reassessment of who I was.

So I guess I agree with what seems to be the consensus here: lying on SL is still lying with all the attending consequences. It is easier in SL, so there is probably more lying, but the results are exactly the same in SL and RL. I think even at the RP level, deception on SL has the potential to be emotionally lethal and once it goes OOC someone is inevitably going to get hurt.



Welcome to Gorums and thank you for sharing what seems a very poignant experience. I am not sure that many people can say they have always been the best person they could be in SL. Anonymity can be a pretty powerful motivator for misdeeds. We learn and move on and hope to not repeat our mistakes when we realize the damage that can be done.
Some people create their own storms, then get upset when it rains.

Once upon a time... Kait
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Mani
Posts: 33
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 11:30 am
SL Name: Belinda Millet
Role: barbarian slut
Home Stone: None as of yet
Owner: Wulluf

Re: SL Relationships real? fake?

Postby Mani » Fri May 13, 2011 1:08 pm

Me personally I completely believe SL relationships are very real, even before I entered into one myself. I am and have always been wary of befriending or flirting with men in SL relationships, it makes me feel like I'm intruding on something special. I also am not a big fan of men who are in SL relationships that go around looking for one night stands, too me what is the point of getting said relationship when your just gonna play around anyway *shrugs*

I have and am still in a SL IC and ooc relationship with my owner, it's the first time I've ever gone down the ooc path I tended too stick too strict ooc friendships only but something just clicked with me and him and we took it from there I guess.

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