Kaitlin wrote:To the professional forum victim there isn't Garrgon. Be careful with that green pen you will be avoided in RP. May I borrow it?
Eww that just looks wrong.
Double Aa wrote:I just find this thread so interesting. Like 99% of the forum threads are someone bleating or complaining about how the lack of education or realism or whatever is RUINING THEIR SL GOR...but all of a sudden, it's not a problem anymore when they called out on it.
Here come the femlaws!
Cognitive dissonance is a hell of a drug.
Ghost wrote:When every I answer an OP I answer it as writ. I maintain that for me Gorums (Substitute any forum here) is Ruining My SL Gorthe answer remains no.
Yet this thread has meandered into something other, is there systematic bullying within this forum or other? I have seen the most horrendous bullying done in Gorean Forums. Bullying which consisted of the real victim's internet details being taken, private messages intercepted, veiled threats of FBI involvement to harm real victims husbands career, a catalogue of lies and smear tactics aimed at terrifying the real victim till they were forced to leave not one but every single forum they were a member of. Bullying so vicious and nasty that for a long while I refused to go near ANY FORUM. And all done so that the fake victim (the perpetrator who used others to do their dirty work) could cover their own tracks over an issue of theft, which the real victim was aware of.
This forum, is difficult to enter and feel like you are listened to with any sort of fair hearing, but that is common for many many established groups, be they the Vicars sewing circle or the board of a company. It requires work on the new entrants side. Having to earn a place does not equate to being bullied.
Keeping one name here and another in SL is not always out of fear of negatively being affected there by what is said here,sometimes its a simple matter of privacy or even not wanting what happens in SL to negatively affect how your words are perceived here. Does SL Gor ruin my forum time?
I was recently told that in the past, in character, I was scary, I laughed, I laughed a lot, after all IC I am role playing, and then I realised the person telling me was not only serious, but was relating the OOC comments of others, who had used my IC being scary, to obtain his OOC "protection". I stopped laughing and got quite annoyed. The vast majority of people will use some form of IC-OOC cross over IF it gets them what they want.
None of us really knows how others perceive us, we can repeat till we are blue in the face that we are only RPing or only presenting strong opinions, but we cannot entirely control the perceptions of others. I may write with a cool calm voice you may hear an hysterical rant, the lens we, as individuals view the world through colours and distorts what we see and hear. I detest real bullies, be they bullies in victims clothing or out and out bullies, if my perceptionof someone is they are a bully I walk away, I may be wrong about them, but it is my responsibility to know my own limits regarding what I will and won't tolerate.
Telling others to grow a thicker skin comes across as too dismissive, and to be frank rather callous, it always has sounded callous to me, that is my perception of that phrase.
I know I am repeating myself here, but if we deal with others with generosity, with tolerance and with an open mind, willing to accept that what works for us is not the only workable solution, that the role played conflicts need not be real conflicts, and that there is no single grey shirt, I do believe we create a much more positive atmosphere that enables all those niches I am so fond of to connect in unexpected and perhaps rewarding ways.
(for the love of Go* Ghost add commas!!!.)
Rhett wrote:First of all, to assume everyone here is emotionally well adjusted is as much a mistake as it is to do in the real world.
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