Gorums (Substitute any forum here) is Ruining My SL Gor

[Kaitlin]

Here's the thing, there ARE some opinionated assholes here. I can think of a few, and I'm sure more than a few think that of me. There certainly are days I'm sure where people could read here and not only feel unwelcome here, but feel unwelcome in SL Gor. On any given day there is likely at least one post on the active topics or popular topics list that is about someone doing it wrong. However, there IS a lot more to this forum I think, somedays anyway, but pretending that isn't also here is denial really. If you don't see any opinionated assholes here... well...

It is easy to ignore some posters when they whine about how mean Gorums is and how it is ruining the gorean experience but when I hear this from others I do wonder where this comes from.

Does Gorums or any other forum have the power to ruin your gorean experience? Does it lesson your enjoyment of the genre?

Lets Debate it.

My perspective
I'll raise my hand as being an opinionated asshole on any given day because frankly a debate forum is about expressing an opinion. Some will sugar coat it or couch it in pillowed language or just go along with the crowd rather than rock the boat. Others will dig in and genuinely enjoy the back and forth of intelligent nuanced debate. It takes all kinds to create a forum. Where I really just shake my head in utter confusion is when someone implies that someone on a forum saying "you are doing it wrong" is ruining anyones experience. That tells me the following three things:

1) You are not strong enough your own convictions about RP to establish your own "right"

2) You care too much about what other people think to the point that it outweighs your own enjoyment

3) WFT is the separation of IC and OOC that everyone brags so much about. This is a debate forum where the smallest minutia will be examined but it is not representative of the experience you might find if you encountered most posters. Base your RP experience on...wait for it...RP.

As for how this effects newcomers I doubt many find their way to the forum. I know people in SL Gor after many years who still don't know they exist. For those that do lurk/read or dive in and participate I hope they look for sources of information about Gor in other places other than a debate forum starting with the books, speaking with an experienced player willing to help or simply diving into RP. All of the above will provide more relevant information than anything that can be found here although some threads are pretty good.

[Elle Couerblanc]

In no way do the forums ruin my gor but with all these claims of being SO ABLE TO SEPARATE OOC FROM IC makes me wonder if I am truly fit for genre.

I have had RP story recently that touched me and led to me to love the genre even more. But went it abruptly ended I questioned if I belonged here based on my emotional reaction. The primary reason I wondered this was because so many here seem to be so beyond me intellectually and emotionally that they have the STRENGTH to separate IC rp from OOC emotions.

But at the same time I also think "Yeah right buddy (or sister)...go ahead and brag abour your so mature way of handling IC and OOC." <Insert jackoff motion here>

*Yes..I am being a bit sarcastice here.

[All Sunday]

In no way do the forums ruin my gor but with all these claims of being SO ABLE TO SEPARATE OOC FROM IC makes me wonder if I am truly fit for genre.

I have had RP story recently that touched me and led to me to love the genre even more. But went it abruptly ended I questioned if I belonged here based on my emotional reaction. The primary reason I wondered this was because so many here seem to be so beyond me intellectually and emotionally that they have the STRENGTH to separate IC rp from OOC emotions.

I am pretty there Elle I get hurt I move away... I then get something awesome and go yay back... and then again... we have to learn to detached emotionally as much as we can... maybe... geeez headache.

[Hawt Sommer]

I'm not sure that you heard... but 99% of the people that are playing in SL-Gor are not writing Essays of why SL-Gor sucks in the forums. They either haven't heard of them or simply have no interest in participating in this medium.

Forums or Not, People are opinionated assholes everywhere. All the best dickheads, bitches and abrasive people are all around us.

[Anarch Allegiere]

Yes.

Everyone should just shut up and let me do the talking!

ANTI "TEA PARTY" DRUMSOLO!!!

[~pancake~]

There have been times when these forums have "ruined" my SL Gor, absolutely.

Not because I was worried that I was using an onlinism, that I was worried I wasn't following the trend du jour, or whatever.

Just simply, I was so fucking sick of some of you people at certain periods that I wanted nothing to do with SL Gor if you were a representation of that I'd encounter there.

Harsh? Perhaps. Silly? Most definitely.

You do have to stop and ask yourself some days though, are these REALLY the people I want to spend my recreational time with? Some days, for me, the answer is no.

In addition to that, there have been some major dramas played out here that just turned me right off everything to do with SL Gor. As soon as I logged in, the talk of the day brought to my IMs was things that happened here on the forum. Most of my friends by now realize what my reaction is when that happens, and thankfully few do that to me anymore, but it certainly has taken up time in my SL that I could have been spent roleplaying.

Do I blame the forums? Nope, not at all.
Just myself for reading them on those days or during those phases, or for letting them disgust me to the point that I'd rather sit in my skybox and breed butterflies than deal with SL Gor.

Edit to add - Kait, I find your classifications of people who do feel that this forum has negatively impacted their enjoyment of Gor to be narrowminded, condescending and insulting. I think it shows a marked lack of compassion towards new players, and to those who enjoy a different style of play, or want a differente experience in their SL Gor. Is it possible that those who find that coming here and finding their preferances or feelings "debated", mocked, ridiculed or pronounced downright wrong bothersome to them? You betcha. I think we'd all be better off if we didn't dismiss that possibility so quickly. I'll be glad to speak up for them, because I'm pretty sure their already gone.

[Double Aa]

Cognitive dissonance is hell of a drug.

It is easy to ignore some posters when they whine about how mean Gorums is and how it is ruining the gorean experience but when I hear this from others I do wonder where this comes from.

Does Gorums or any other forum have the power to ruin your gorean experience? Does it lesson your enjoyment of the genre?

Lets Debate it.

My perspective
I'll raise my hand as being an opinionated asshole on any given day because frankly a debate forum is about expressing an opinion. Some will sugar coat it or couch it in pillowed language or just go along with the crowd rather than rock the boat. Others will dig in and genuinely enjoy the back and forth of intelligent nuanced debate. It takes all kinds to create a forum. Where I really just shake my head in utter confusion is when someone implies that someone on a forum saying "you are doing it wrong" is ruining anyones experience. That tells me the following three things:

1) You are not strong enough your own convictions about RP to establish your own "right"

2) You care too much about what other people think to the point that it outweighs your own enjoyment

3) WFT is the separation of IC and OOC that everyone brags so much about. This is a debate forum where the smallest minutia will be examined but it is not representative of the experience you might find if you encountered most posters. Base your RP experience on...wait for it...RP.

As for how this effects newcomers I doubt many find their way to the forum. I know people in SL Gor after many years who still don't know they exist. For those that do lurk/read or dive in and participate I hope they look for sources of information about Gor in other places other than a debate forum starting with the books, speaking with an experienced player willing to help or simply diving into RP. All of the above will provide more relevant information than anything that can be found here although some threads are pretty good.

[Rob]

Oh come on now, if "Gorums (Substitute any forum here)" is ruining your SL Gor there is something wrong with YOU and not any forum.

[~pancake~]

Oh come on now, if "Gorums (Substitute any forum here)" is ruining your SL Gor there is something wrong with YOU and not any forum.

We already know there is something very wrong with me!

However, look at comments like Elle's for example...

I have had RP story recently that touched me and led to me to love the genre even more. But went it abruptly ended I questioned if I belonged here based on my emotional reaction. The primary reason I wondered this was because so many here seem to be so beyond me intellectually and emotionally that they have the STRENGTH to separate IC rp from OOC emotions.

This is not the first time I've read comments about people reading these forums and finding that they cannot relate to the posters here, to the point that they question whether or not the SL Gor is for them. Sometimes that's play style, sometimes that's something a little more personal, but it certainly happens.

As a regular poster here, I'm not going to blame those that feel that way and take no responsibility for some of what is said here.

[Kaitlin]

Kait, I find your classifications of people who do feel that this forum has negatively impacted their enjoyment of Gor to be narrowminded, condescending and insulting. I think it shows a marked lack of compassion towards new players, and to those who enjoy a different style of play, or want a differente experience in their SL Gor. Is it possible that those who find that coming here and finding their preferances or feelings "debated", mocked, ridiculed or pronounced downright wrong bothersome to them? You betcha. I think we'd all be better off if we didn't dismiss that possibility so quickly. I'll be glad to speak up for them, because I'm pretty sure their already gone.

For a player who has "no rape" for instance in their profile it isn't for our benefit on this forum but because of their own personal belief about how to play gor. Forum opinion should not bother them one iota if that limit makes their RP awesome. The same goes for a host of other things you might find in a profile or in how others play. To suggest that forum debate about its appropriateness is enough to lead them to tears and running from Gor is just over the top and it means you think pretty highly of your own worth in the realm of gorean RP or you think too highly of this forum. Maybe that happens when you surround yourself with a significant number of players here embroiled in the latest forum drama but for the average player no one is IMing them with "have you heard what happened on gorums". It just isn't that important. I also hope that people would value their own opinion more than anything they will find here.

If it is narrowminded, condescending and insulting to suggest that people place value on their own opinion over and above the 1% of gorean posters found here then so be it.

Oh come on now, if "Gorums (Substitute any forum here)" is ruining your SL Gor there is something wrong with YOU and not any forum.