Memorial for Adamark Susenko

For those we have loved...and lost...
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TrollinWitMyHomies
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby TrollinWitMyHomies » Sat Feb 26, 2011 4:08 pm

If anyone wants to check out the art Mark did, here is his deviantArt page:
http://gamedever.deviantart.com/
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ebediyet
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby ebediyet » Sat Feb 26, 2011 5:32 pm

I met Mark when He was the Ubar of Corcyrus, it was before opening weekend and I was wandering around, but unsure of things. I came across this guy roleplaying with a slave, and as I got closer I realized he was having sex with her, lol. I was shocked, stunned, and excited (not in the perverted way) that this Man had enough courage to have sex openly in a city. Everything I had seen of the city prior and building up to that point was a dream, it was everything I was looking for, and then this guy just completed the picture. I know it sounds weird to say that, but I was a huge book enthusiast, and I really wanted something authentic, so I sent him an IM thanking him for his work on the build and we instantly started talking. I think our first conversation lasted about 3 hours, and we ended up talking every day after that. Eventually I became one of his slaves in the house of a thousand chains, and served next to kiana. He was an amazing man, he made me believe that it was possible to have gor in SL. It was possible to achieve a true surrender. I had lost so much faith and he brought it back to me, having him pass has been very hard. I will miss him forever, he changed who I am, and I am eternally grateful.

Love bedi
"Don't leave me, even for an hour, because
then the little drops of anguish will all run together,
the smoke that roams looking for a home will drift
into me, choking my lost heart. "
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby Sabriel » Sat Feb 26, 2011 11:13 pm

Eve, kiana and I reviewed a number of options for how we might be able to donate money somewhere to an organization that Mark would have appreciated. After scouring the web, we settled upon The AbleGamers Foundation. Mark belonged to the group for a time and even tested some Emotiv thought-based controllers:

http://www.ablegamers.com/hardware-news ... rview.html

With Melisande's support we've set out a donation banner in the Ar hub and at the memorial site which will be out for at least a week after the memorial in Ar takes place.

"The AbleGamers Foundation is dedicated to bring greater accessibility in the digital entertainment space so that people with disabilities can gain a greater quality of life, and develop a rich social life that gaming can bring."

http://www.ablegamers.org/

Once the donation period ends I'll be transferring the money from SL into real currency and making a donation to the foundation in memory of Mark from the community.
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Melisande
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby Melisande » Wed Mar 02, 2011 12:18 pm

Taken from my blog post. I thought it might fit well here, too.

I'll just be honest with you, folks. It's been a miserable week plus for me. And if I can't be real with you all, then I can't ever be. And hasn't Adamark's passing made us all feel a bit more “real?” My first instinct is to want to call his mother and father, or send them each a card. I want to go visit his memorial and pay my respects. I want to erase some months and go back to the day or days after his passing and be at a memorial service. But the reality is, ironically, he was someone we knew online, and though others had more offline relationships with him, the main avenue of interaction with him was always online, so we had no idea he was gone, until he simply wasn't there for too long. In real life, we would have known he'd had to go to the hospital again. And I can't help but think I've somehow let Mark down. We would have sent flowers, we would have gone to visit. We would have been there.

I realize now I'm holding myself to a certain behavior and standard that Mark wouldn't have asked for or expected. It doesn't diminish the greater sense of loss and struggling to cope that most of us feel online when losing someone who is dear to us. Our memorial to him is happening on March 6 at 1 p.m. SLT, and hopefully then we can start to have a little bit of closure and feel as if we've properly honored his memory. I know that, if I could rewind the time, I would have honored him more when he was still living. I would have made our times more intentional, would have wanted to know just what he thought about so many things.

So I turn my attention back to the men and women I spend my time with now, realizing that, at some point, they're all going to be gone too. Me too. And I resolve to make my time, every time, more intentional.

Also this week, we've just had some really disappointing issues and miscommunications with a few sim building, arranging sort of things. There are probably a few people who are going to kick me for openly mentioning it here, but I'll save the details since no one needs to know. Yes, we've eventually worked them out, but it's been like playing last-minute total rearranging of a lot of different things due to major real life issues, then interpersonal issues, then stylistic difference issues, then... you get the picture.

And then in real life... well, where do I start? My personal family has been great, but my son has issues at school. There's a really awful situation involving a coworker that I can't do anything about – or say anything about, according to “the management,” and I understand them, completely. And, has anyone but me noticed that – hello? The world is on fire? As we just go by our daily lives here in America, some of you are seeing riots and uprisings and complete societal collapse and change in neighboring countries if not right there in your back yard.

I get a lot of flak sometimes from folks who say I'm abnormally positive all the time, and they don't see me dealing with any negativity in a real way – well, here you go folks. It happens to me, too.

The difference is, I choose not to stay there. If I'm going to be intentional about my times, as in memory of Mark, and as in my new resolution not to let a single encounter go by the side without filling it with my whole self and engaging as if it were my last day, or if it were your last day, I don't have the time to stay wrapped up in the negativity. My spirit may still be mourning, but it can't last. My disappointments may be real, but they can't define me. I may feel the reality of uncertainty all around me, but fear can't rule my decisions or cloud my vision of the future.

What does this post have to do with Ar? I don't know. But I'm feeling it from you, too, at least some of those close to me. I can't be the only one who can feel it.

Someone mentioned to me that they feel completely at a loss with how to help the folks who knew Adamark. They don't know what to do. They don't know what to say.

I guess I'm telling you to do what I'm going to do, too. I'm going to be here. Remain. Be strong, and fully love and enjoy the folks that have been dropped in my personal path. It is easy to be part of a community and hop into the fun when there's no sadness or pain or personal sacrifice. Why do it in SL at all anyway? Isn't life full of that? Why would I want to experience this stuff in SL?

Because the people in SL are real, even though their avatars aren't. Because relationships between souls and hearts and minds are real, even though the tangible isn't. Ask anyone who knew Adamark who is feeling the loss now – yes of course, it's real. Because what you do in the smallest, most insignificant moments to the people who can just as easily disregard or turn off (turning off SL, making a new avatar, etc.) are, after all, important.

"Accept the things to which fate binds you, and love the people with whom fate brings you together, but do so with all your heart." - Marcus Aurelius

With all my heart. That sounds like the best way to approach the coming days, and I hope that's how you'll see me.
Esse quam videri - To be rather than appear to be.
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All Sunday
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby All Sunday » Thu Mar 03, 2011 11:24 am

Melisande: I did not know Adamark and that is why I felt like nothing I say in this thread could help any of the close ones cope with the loss.

But I read what you post and I understand what you mean, people taking many issues in SL way above from their true level and bring negative feelings to what should be a positive environment. I try not to be like that even though I realise that is often hard to control... sometimes my RL issues explode on someone's face but eventually I'll go "sorry" on them.

The only thing I can tell you and many others from the loss of a dear one is to remember the other dear people you hold on SL and hold on to the people who cheer you up every day. Let a person complain about wall texture... you know what's important and I'm sure the position you and many sim owners hold is a hard one so I am actually glad when I meet people like you.

I am scared of losing some people I've met on SL... sometimes they tell me scary things and just hope to see them logging.
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby TrollinWitMyHomies » Thu Mar 03, 2011 1:55 pm

I'm profiling that quote. I've seen it before but it applies in spades now more than ever for me. Thank you, Mel. I love Marcus Aurelius' stuff. So did Mark. :D

I'm still trying to just breathe myself but it's getting a little easier and I know he would not want me to wallow for long.
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Melisande
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby Melisande » Sun Mar 06, 2011 2:31 pm

Just bumping this as a reminder. It's today.
Esse quam videri - To be rather than appear to be.
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby TrollinWitMyHomies » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:31 pm

And we crashed the sim! Oi.
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby TrollinWitMyHomies » Sun Mar 06, 2011 5:51 pm

New spot for the memorial is here:

http://slurl.com/secondlife/Street%20of%20Brands/123/161/22

Ar won't start up!
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Re: Memorial for Adamark Susenko

Postby Tara Pearl » Sun Mar 06, 2011 7:25 pm

Thank you everyone for organising his memorial and letting me be a part of it.

Adam/ Mark; I will miss you. I will miss your wise but sincere words, i will miss your occasional im's, i will miss your opinion on life, i will miss the way you held yourself, i miss the occasional smile, i will miss the red tunic wandering past and flirt around. I will miss everything about you.
But; I am so grateful that i had the honor of meeting and conversing with you, learning from you. You're one of the handful of people i sincerely respect and will always do so.

I remember so well that during the chats we had you spoke about.. a journey.. a journey away from home.Whereas you had something else in mind, so did i-- and so did everyone-- here's a quote;

"Let your mind start a journey thru a strange new world. Leave all thoughts of the world you knew before. Let your soul take you where you long to be...Close your eyes let your spirit start to soar, and you'll live as you've never lived before.”

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