First of all, let me start by saying hello to everyone, since it's my first post here
Very recently, about couple weeks ago, I stumbled upon an article about Gorean RP in SL and felt intrigued. So I decided I should give it a shot, then I started playing SL and found myself home in one of the Gorean cities as a 'barbarian' who was kidnapped from Earth, and found abandoned on the dock without any belongings.
My plan was, to start as a very conservative, plain-looking, and shy Asian girl, who nevertheless values her modesty and freedom highly. Currently, she is mostly ignorant of Gorean language, let alone the norms of the society she was thrown in.
I thought I could make a gradual transition from here for her to become a more compliant Gorean slave, slowly over time, maybe with some help from a training, like how it's described in the beginning of 'Dancer of Gor', for example.
But now, I began to doubt the feasibility of of my plan, after I tried to RP with other slaves while I (tried to) act like an ignorant barbarian who's still in denial about her status as a slave girl.
Understandably, as other slave players have been playing it for a while, everyone seems to have undergone that transition long ago, so now they believe wholeheartedly that they are in a complete submission to the Free, and it's their duty and pleasure to do their best to please them.
I know that such a mindset is the cannon of the Gorean lore, but what I found to be problematic was that there seems to be no 'middle ground', or a chance of a gradual transition from the one way to the other - either you're not initiated at all, or you should be completely happy about your loss of freedom.
Initially, I thought the problem could be dealt ICly with a slave training program, but the one I very briefly experienced seems to be concentrating on such topics like learning RP basics, or Gorean commands, etc, which, I have no doubt, to be very helpful to many players, but less so if you expect some RP opportunity to gradually transit your normal Earth born free person mindset to that of a Gorean slave girl.
In addition, I have rather limited English proficiency (at least, quite inadequate for a quality para RP), which I'm afraid might make it even harder for me to solve this problem solely in IC.
So, my question is, would you find it irritating, or even lore breaking if a barbarian slave remains in denial of her status, or tries to keep her dignity/modesty intact (like refusing to be exposed naked, or kneel, etc)?
If not, how long can she be in such a transitional status without making other people uneasy or angry?
Or when she is broken, possibly after some punishments, would it be alright if she acts obediently, but still remains resentful about her status for long? I mean, refusing to be a "I'm so pleased to serve you, Master" kind of a slave for the time being, or even permanently?
I want to try something different, but at the same time, don't want to so disruptive as to irritate other players. Where should I find the fine line between being different, and being difficult?